Love the day, hate it, don't care at all - it doesn't really matter. If your spouse is kind and loving most of the other 364 days of the year, a little reluctance to participate today takes nothing away from that reality. If your lover is an inconsiderate oaf who neglects you the rest of the time, sacrificial roses and some gift-wrapped bling today won't improve the quality of your relationship.
Real romance is not created by occasional extravagant gestures. It is the product of small, consistent acts of love over time. Love is strengthened in fleeting moments of connection and reconnection, the daily rituals and personal traditions that reinforce our sense of belonging together, and the way we treat each other on ordinary days so that ordinary days become special.
And if you want to do something extra today for someone you love, that's good, too.
What I love most about Valentine's Day is it reminds us of how we are supposed to love on each other the rest of the year. My husband and I haven't celebrated it for the past 8 or 9 years. We choose to celebrate every day in a similar way, pouring heaps of love on one another, and Vday is to hectic and crowded. But we love that so many others are reminded to truly love one another because of this day so for that reason, it rocks!
ReplyDeleteI am in total agreement with you, Fawn and love your attitude toward daily helpings or heaps of love for one another. Before 2006 we were not doing this, but since then, since we committed all of our resources and energy to each other and ourselves and not work and other trifles, life has improved ten fold for both of us.
Delete"Small, consistent acts of love over time" - love this, Rosemary. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day because we do it every day, but I loved the feel of yesterday. I loved it for the reason Fawn mentioned above - that so many otheres are reminded to truly love one another! Beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Rosemary, as always and I am in total agreement with Fawn and love her attitude toward daily helpings or heaps of love for one another.
ReplyDeleteWhen we place such a high premium on a day, it creates unrealistic expectations sucking the specialness right out of it. The same can be said of any holiday or occasion, but some, are for some reason, sacrosanct and it is therefore taboo to be treat them with perfect frankness.
My wife and I make an active effort to avoid being in the same room together for most of the year. But on Valentine's day I show her my love by letting her pick one TV show to watch (not more than an hour in length) while I get my own beer.
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